I am not a village

I get frustrated when people use cliches to try and connect with me on some level. I know I make people uncomfortable but honestly, the cliches accomplish that for both of us. When someone is confronted by me while I am having an obvious MS flare(limping, useless dangling arm, scooting along behind a walker, wearing an eyepatch, wearing depends) I often hear one of the following cliches from obviously uncomfortable people thinking of something comforting to say to the gimpy, lame, half blind, girl who really just needs to go pee;
"you are more than your disease" I am? Oh what a relief, I was about to have a slow moving vehicle sign permanently tattooed you know where.
"You will beat this, you are so strong" I feel so sorry for the not so strong MS patient over there, she will never have a chance to cure this incurable disease like me.
" God knew you could handle this, that is why he gave it to you" I have seriously got to stop volunteering for incurable chronic illnesses. "

Now, I am not so cynical to actually respond the way I am thinking but I would like to use a few cliches of my own. I am not more than my disease, sometimes I am swimming upstream in a creek without paddle. Sometimes, my disease is more than me, sometimes I need a lot of help from people who are smarter than me like doctors and people, who at the time are stronger than me, like my family and friends. It takes an army of people at times to be stronger than my diseases.

I will not beat this(emphasis on the I). My diseases are incurable. That is a huge horrible word but one that I must nonetheless accept and understand. I am not weak by accepting this word, I know that saying MS or diabetes is anything but incurable is like putting lipstick on a pig. I can live with it gracefully but the bottom line is, graceful or not, I have to live with it.

I don't think God gave me two diseases because I am special. I am special because I know him and know how to find comfort in the midst of my trials. I can make lemonade whith my lemons, but I am not special because I have so many and I would much rather have watermelon, or grapes, or even a nice apple.

Too many times we want people who are struggling to become superhuman and defy nature by overcoming the impossible all by themselves. You need friends and family and doctors and God to be strong. You are not more than this, you will not beat this by yourself and you most certainly did not earn this. I am not the village,but I thank God every day that I have one beside me.